End Self-Sabotage

Behaviour is said to be self-sabotaging when you have acted against your own best interest or disrupted long-standing goals. It is perhaps best summarised by the phrase “you are your own worst enemy.” Some common examples of self-sabotaging behaviours are:

  • Procrastinating on a project
  • Repeatedly not applying for jobs or promotions
  • Avoiding relationships
  • Ending promising relationships
  • Engaging in behaviours that push away partners or work colleagues
  • Spending more money than you earn, not matter how much you earn
  • Repeatedly over-eating on a diet
  • Constantly being late
  • Repeated similar accidents (like repeatedly banging one’s head or dropping precious items)
  • Ignoring what matters and focusing on ‘trivia’
  • Spending excessive time planning but not doing
  • Doing well all term but failing exams
  • Regularly performing below your capabilities
  • Alcohol and drug abuse

Often times, people aren’t aware of their own self-sabotage because the behaviour is usually driven unconsciously and the effects of their behaviour may not show up for some time. It is only usually once the person has engaged in the behaviour repeatedly that they begin to notice that they are doing it. Unfortunately, just connecting a behaviour to its self-defeating consequence is rarely enough to make it stop. It is usually necessary address the underlying psychological or emotional process that is driving the behaviour.

Some common reasons for self-sabotaging behaviour

  • Low self-esteem or feeling unworthy
  • Negative beliefs (for example, “I am not loveable” or “If I’m successful no one will like me”)
  • Familiarity of ‘failure’
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of abandonment or rejection
  • Fear of criticism
  • Fear of embarrassment
  • Perfectionism
  • Need for control
  • Need for excitement
  • Need for attention or sympathy
  • Bad habits or addictions

Hypno-psychotherapy is an excellent approach to both identifying and changing the underlying drivers of self-sabotage. With over twenty years of experience as a therapist, I have successfully helped literally hundreds of clients to overcome self-sabotaging behaviours. I draw on highly effective and established techniques from hypnotherapy, mindfulness, behavioural- and cognitive- therapies, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and stress management. Together, these combine to form a powerful set of tools to help you get out of your own way and successfully achieve your goals. If you have any questions, or if you would like to book an initial consultation, please get in touch and we can discuss how  I can help you.

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Mark Witter

Mark Witter MA DHP PhD

A highly qualified and experienced hypno-psychotherapist, creating a safe, compassionate and professional environment to confidentially support your healing and personal development.

Find out more about Mark